- First, I would definitely like to reduce my stress. Every day at least once a day I start to feel very stressed out and drained of energy, accompanied with painful headaches, mood swings, and inability to focus on the task at hand. Hopefully through this I can learn to relax my nerves and retain a calm and focused state of mind while completing tasks that are front of me. This would also help me have more energy in the day so I can talk with others more without feeling the need to force myself to be social.
- I would also like to get rid of the sense that I have to be better than everyone in terms of academics and relieve some of the mental pressure in my head that causes me to have some irrational thoughts about success. This will hopefully allow me to reduce my anxiety I have to try to be the best and learn to accept the things I am good at and the things I'm not so good at and stop allowing me to feel perfectionist thoughts. This will also greatly reduce my exam stress and allow me to easily take in the information without being lost in thoughts.
- I want to also get rid of the aches and pains in my body such as the pain in my back and my neck along with the pounding headaches. Part of it has to do with my sleeping position and my posture when I sit but doing this meditation will greatly improve that and reduce the aches and pains significantly. In addition to that, I want to strengthen the muscles in my body, especially the neck and back area.
- I would also like to improve the awareness of my thoughts and how they impact me in my everyday life such as feelings of jealousy or worry and try to annihilate the negative thoughts completely when they surface in my mind. This would definitely allow me to have a more positive attitude with my family and friends and improve my relationships with them greatly.
- I would also like to understand what causes my distractions and having wandering thoughts. When I become distracted by a thought or a song, I lose concentration of what is going on around me and that creates a huge problem when I'm interacting with others and they automatically assume that I am upset or stressed out about something or when I'm doing a homework assignment.
- I would also like to become a more disciplined person from this. When I put my mind through this intense concentration and relaxation, I begin to see and understand what is happening in my thoughts. If I step back from those distracting thoughts, I can understand my flow and try to pick out what is really important and why I have certain feelings. This concentration will provide me with a stronger sense of discipline to control my own thoughts and feelings to a degree that will be manageable but not to the point when I become a robot.
- From this experience, I would like to understand how certain emotions come to be and how I can organize my thoughts so I may be able to prioritize things in my life more efficiently.
So overall from this experience, I hope to:
- Become more disciplined
- Ease pain in my body
- Reduce my stress
- Get rid of the perfection mentality
- Improve my awareness of my thoughts and emotions
- Become more prioritized and organize my thoughts better
- Better mental focus
Ideally, I try to compete with only one person: Tim Russell from a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year ago. I only want to know that my efforts are making me a better man than I have been. I have found that to be much more useful than watching what everyone else is doing and trying to match that. Also, I try not to let other people define what it is I should be. I have a mind. I can do that, thank you. I will set my own goals, and that eliminates anyone else's need to make them for me. Now, if I get lazy about setting my own goals and pushing forward towards excellence, then I do not mind if a friend tells me to get my butt going! Luckily, that does not happen very often anymore. Am I perfect? Not in the same galaxy as perfect, but I do not need perfect; I just expect better than yesterday.
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