This Meditation last night was different. I turned off all the lights in my room and set my computer away from my bed so the only light I received would be faintly from that. I turned on the music again to get me in the mode. After that, I lied down in my bed and I closed my eyes and did the 7/11 breathing, breathing in for 7 and out for 11. As I was breathing, I could feel my back getting less tense and my neck relaxing. I was controlling the pain I feel in my body.
As I kept breathing, I could feel myself almost sinking in my own bed, like deflating myself more and more as I kept breathing out. It felt really nice because I was able to get a good breath and relax almost instantly. This feeling was really different because almost instantly I was able to relax and just let my mind stay in the moment without any kind of distractions at all.
I went on with this for about 17 minutes because I was starting to fall asleep and there was too much noise going on outside in the hallway with my parents talking. I shut off the computer and went to bed shortly after. As I woke up I felt more calm but now I feel a little sickly. Probably from the cold weather we are having.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Third Meditation
In this Meditation last night, I was sitting lying down across my bed with the music from the youtube video I posted playing at low volume. I focused only on the light sounds and the dim lighting in my room as it provided a calm soothing environment for me to meditate in. I was in some comfy pajamas so this comfort pushed me deeper into the meditative state. I also tried the 7/11 breathing from Jordan's blog to help with the anxiety I was feeling late that night.
As I slipped deeper into it, my mind went blank. There was no distraction around me, no imagery, just blissful silence. I had to catch myself from falling asleep once or twice but overall the experience was very different and satisfying. I didn't even realize that the music I was playing stopped halfway through on its own. The coincidence helped me focus more at that moment.
When I stopped I felt even more relaxed and a little more drowsy so I went to bed shortly after. When I awoke this morning, I felt focused, alert, and controlled. There was no morning anxiety or any distractions. Just blissful silence.
As I slipped deeper into it, my mind went blank. There was no distraction around me, no imagery, just blissful silence. I had to catch myself from falling asleep once or twice but overall the experience was very different and satisfying. I didn't even realize that the music I was playing stopped halfway through on its own. The coincidence helped me focus more at that moment.
When I stopped I felt even more relaxed and a little more drowsy so I went to bed shortly after. When I awoke this morning, I felt focused, alert, and controlled. There was no morning anxiety or any distractions. Just blissful silence.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Second Meditation
It was about 9:15 PM last night and I was trying to work on my IB HL Biology homework but that didn't turn out so well because I started to get distracted internally and had some technology errors with my computer so I was unable to type anything up. As I started to become more frustrated, I realized I wasn't going to get anymore work done at this rate so I went to youtube and put on some soft meditation music. Once I did that, I crawled into my bed and lied down on my back with my hands on my stomach and my legs crossed. I began to deeply inhale and slowly exhale.
Throughout the meditation, I was focusing on the music and my breathing and I fell into a deeper meditative state faster than when I was meditating the first time. Slowly the music started to dissolve around me and I was able to create more imagery with my mind. I saw grass, very detailed patches of grass starting to change color from red to blue to green. it was very detailed and I got so surprised that I almost lost concentration. A few minutes later my dog was barking and my mom was calling me for something and I had to start all over. When I started over, it was a bit harder to remain concentrated but I was slowly falling asleep! I had the music in the background to snap me out of it and concentrate on my breathing.
While I meditated, the imagery changed again. I was in a small, square grassy field which was surrounded by trees in a warm summer afternoon. There was a light breeze in the air which I could see but could not feel. The music in the background corresponded with the elements in the imagery with soft notes expressing the calmness of the nature around me and the crescendo expressing the sun's rays coming down to highlight the grass. When I stopped the meditation it was 9:45 and I felt less frustrated, more focused, and more light with my emotions. shortly after meditation, I went to bed and had peaceful dreams and told myself that I would tackle my assignments tomorrow.
Throughout the meditation, I was focusing on the music and my breathing and I fell into a deeper meditative state faster than when I was meditating the first time. Slowly the music started to dissolve around me and I was able to create more imagery with my mind. I saw grass, very detailed patches of grass starting to change color from red to blue to green. it was very detailed and I got so surprised that I almost lost concentration. A few minutes later my dog was barking and my mom was calling me for something and I had to start all over. When I started over, it was a bit harder to remain concentrated but I was slowly falling asleep! I had the music in the background to snap me out of it and concentrate on my breathing.
While I meditated, the imagery changed again. I was in a small, square grassy field which was surrounded by trees in a warm summer afternoon. There was a light breeze in the air which I could see but could not feel. The music in the background corresponded with the elements in the imagery with soft notes expressing the calmness of the nature around me and the crescendo expressing the sun's rays coming down to highlight the grass. When I stopped the meditation it was 9:45 and I felt less frustrated, more focused, and more light with my emotions. shortly after meditation, I went to bed and had peaceful dreams and told myself that I would tackle my assignments tomorrow.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
First Meditation
I sat in a very quiet room which contained portraits of the hindu gods and had a faint scent of burning incense sticks. With me was a computer and a youtube video of a woman doing a guided meditation for beginners which was about 30-32 minutes long. Before I started the meditation, I sat down in front of the computer cross legged on the floor with a straight posture and away from the lights. As I began the meditation, I tried cleared my thoughts of any internal distractions (anxiety, music in my head, deadlines) and external distractions (parents cooking downstairs and talking). I focused only on the voice of the woman and my breathing. As I slipped deeper and deeper into meditation I forgot to breathe in and out and I was focusing on the imagery around me.
There was this dark empty void with "Pieces" of my thoughts floating, very blurry but they were there floating. I came across this long strand of my thoughts and realized it was a song that had been stuck in my head all day. As I tried to concentrate away from it, it sucked me back in and then I lost all concentration completely. By then I was meditating for about 20 minutes. As I was trying to get back into focus, I had aches in my back and decided to lie down on my back. When I lied down, I felt very light in my head and very relaxed. I realized then I couldn't really continue with the meditation because I was becoming more aware of my surroundings and coming back down to earth.
So my limit right there was 21 minutes. It was interesting that I was able to see some of my thoughts and take a step back from my life and analyze what went on in my head. I probably won't have the same experience again the next time I meditate but I'll definitely have a lot more focus as I continue.
My Goals for meditation
The following is a list of goals I hope to accomplish during my two weeks of meditation:
- First, I would definitely like to reduce my stress. Every day at least once a day I start to feel very stressed out and drained of energy, accompanied with painful headaches, mood swings, and inability to focus on the task at hand. Hopefully through this I can learn to relax my nerves and retain a calm and focused state of mind while completing tasks that are front of me. This would also help me have more energy in the day so I can talk with others more without feeling the need to force myself to be social.
- I would also like to get rid of the sense that I have to be better than everyone in terms of academics and relieve some of the mental pressure in my head that causes me to have some irrational thoughts about success. This will hopefully allow me to reduce my anxiety I have to try to be the best and learn to accept the things I am good at and the things I'm not so good at and stop allowing me to feel perfectionist thoughts. This will also greatly reduce my exam stress and allow me to easily take in the information without being lost in thoughts.
- I want to also get rid of the aches and pains in my body such as the pain in my back and my neck along with the pounding headaches. Part of it has to do with my sleeping position and my posture when I sit but doing this meditation will greatly improve that and reduce the aches and pains significantly. In addition to that, I want to strengthen the muscles in my body, especially the neck and back area.
- I would also like to improve the awareness of my thoughts and how they impact me in my everyday life such as feelings of jealousy or worry and try to annihilate the negative thoughts completely when they surface in my mind. This would definitely allow me to have a more positive attitude with my family and friends and improve my relationships with them greatly.
- I would also like to understand what causes my distractions and having wandering thoughts. When I become distracted by a thought or a song, I lose concentration of what is going on around me and that creates a huge problem when I'm interacting with others and they automatically assume that I am upset or stressed out about something or when I'm doing a homework assignment.
- I would also like to become a more disciplined person from this. When I put my mind through this intense concentration and relaxation, I begin to see and understand what is happening in my thoughts. If I step back from those distracting thoughts, I can understand my flow and try to pick out what is really important and why I have certain feelings. This concentration will provide me with a stronger sense of discipline to control my own thoughts and feelings to a degree that will be manageable but not to the point when I become a robot.
- From this experience, I would like to understand how certain emotions come to be and how I can organize my thoughts so I may be able to prioritize things in my life more efficiently.
So overall from this experience, I hope to:
- Become more disciplined
- Ease pain in my body
- Reduce my stress
- Get rid of the perfection mentality
- Improve my awareness of my thoughts and emotions
- Become more prioritized and organize my thoughts better
- Better mental focus
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